“The shock of September 11 is subsiding. Each day adds distance. Distance diminishes fear. Cautiously our lives are returning to normal. But “normal” will never be the same again. We have seen the enemy and the enemy is among us …. the publishers, producers, peddlers and purveyors of pornography.”
It didn’t take me long to find that quote. It came from an LDS Web site, Meridian Magazine, but I could have picked fifty others. In light of that kind of hatred, I think it’s time to have a chat about what it can mean to … well, do what we do.
We write pornography. Say it with me: por-nog-ra-phy. Not erotica – a word too many writers use to distance themselves, or even elevate themselves, from the down and dirty stuff on most adult bookstore shelves – but smut, filth … and so forth.
I’ve mentioned before how it’s dangerous to draw a line in the sand, putting fellow writers on the side of smut and others in erotica. The Supreme Court couldn’t decide where to scrawl that mark – what chance do we have?
What good are our petty semantics when too many people would love to see us out of business or thrown in jail? They don’t see any difference between what I write and what you write. We can sit and argue all we like over who’s innocent and who’s guilty until our last meals arrive, but we’ll still hang together.
I think it’s time to face some serious facts. Hyperbole aside, we face some serious risks for putting pen to paper or file to disk. I know far too many people who have been fired, stalked, threatened, had their writing used against them in divorces and child custody cases, and much worse.
People hate us. Not everyone, certainly, but even in oases like San Francisco, people who write about sex can suffer tremendous difficulties. Even the most – supposedly – tolerant companies have a hard time with an employee who writes smut. A liberal court will still look down on a defendant who’s published stories in Naughty Nurses. The religious fanatic will most certainly throw the first, second, third stone – or as many as it takes – at a filth peddler.
This is what we have to accept. Sure, things are better than they have been before and, if we’re lucky, they will slowly progress, but we all have to open our eyes to the ugly truths that can accompany a decision to write pornography.
What can we do? Well, aside from calling the ACLU, there isn’t a lot to we can directly do to protect ourselves if the law, or Bible-wielding fanatics, break down our doors – but there are a few relatively simple techniques you can employ to be safe. Take these as you will, and keep in mind that I’m not an expert in the law, but never forget that what you’re doing can be dangerous.
* Assess your risks. If you have kids, have a sensitive job, own a house, have touchy parents, or live in a conservative city or state, you should be extra careful about your identity. Even if you think you have nothing to lose, you do – your freedom. Many cities and states have very loose pornography laws, and all it would take is a cop, a sheriff, or a district attorney to decide you needed to be behind bars to put you there.
* Hide. Yes, I think we should all be proud of what we do, what we create, but use some common sense about how easily you can be identified or found: use a pseudonym and a post office box, never post your picture, and so forth. Women, especially, should be extra careful. I know far too many female writers who have been stalked or Internet-attacked because of what they do.
* Keep your yap shut. Don’t tell your bank, your boss, your accountant, your plumber, or anyone at all, what you do. When someone asks, I say I’m a writer. If I know them better, I say I write all kinds of things – including smut. If I know them very, very, very well, then maybe I’ll show them my newest book. People (it shouldn’t have to be said) are very weird. Just because you like someone doesn’t mean you should divulge that you just sold a story to Truckstop Transsexuals.
* Remember that line we drew between pornography and erotica? Well, here’s another: you might be straight, you might be bi, but in the eyes of those who despise pornography you are just as damned and perverted as a filthy sodomite. It makes me furious to meet a homophobic pornographer. Every strike against gay rights is another blow to your civil liberties and is a step closer to you being censored, out of a job, out of your house, or in jail. You can argue this all you want, but I’ve yet to see a hysterical homophobe who isn’t anti-smut. For you to be anti-gay isn’t just an idiotic prejudice, it’s giving the forces of puritanical righteousness even more ammunition for their war.
I could go on, but I think I’ve given you enough to chew on. I believe that writing about sex is something that no one should be ashamed of, but I also think that we all need to recognize and accept that there are many out there who do not share those feelings. Write what you want, say what you believe, but do it with your eyes open. Understand the risks, accept the risks and be smart about what you do – so you can keep working and growing as a writer for many years to come.
Great blog! I happenedto have grown up in a very liberal town with a lesbian mother and her few girlfriends over my adolecent years. Strangly I wasn’t considered damned due to her sexual preference but her her religious ones. My mother was into Indian Medicine and Shamanism followed by Bhudism. To this day no one prays over the sex I’m writing but that I was introduced to other religions. I am vocal about what I write. I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks in rl. My friends from highschool are very supportive and a good handful of them support me. I say constantly I can write from sweet romance to graphic intimacy. Don’t mistake it for porn, porn doesn’t have an emotional growth process or sexual growth process. I also say you don’t have to read me if you don’t like what I write. I have family members in church who attribute my writing to my zany imagination and leave it be. I’m sure there are those who say things but I don’t live for them but for myself. My teens know I write romance but they’re too busy with sports and the mall and friends to really care. Christina Aguliera wrote Not Myself Tonight because she was tired of women not being able to express their sexuality without being condemned. (On a VH1 special) We’ve come along way from Female Hysteria a woman’s disease decided by society in the mid 1800′s to a place where we can have some freedom but only in the dark. One day I hope society allows people to love and express themselves in any venue they choose personally and hate stops. Until then I’m going to write sexy steamy stories with Happy Endings!
“For you to be anti-gay isn’t just an idiotic prejudice, it’s giving the forces of puritanical righteousness even more ammunition for their war. ”
Hear, hear!
Wow. That’s very depressing. And I thought you had a constitutional right to freedom of speech in your country.
I’m sort of glad I live in a place where, although we don’t have a written bill of rights, people don’t much care what you do so long as it doesn’t involve children, or take place in the street scaring the horses.
Keep on writing. Keep safe.
This is a great post, M. And really thoughtful, and I’m sure helpful for lots of people out there who write erotica.
I think I’ve taken a very different approach to the whole thing — my choice was to be out there, in every way, to be very visible. Does this make me a target? Perhaps. But it also makes me one of many voices who are brave enough to show their faces against prejudice, lack of knowledge, hatred and discrimination. I’m that nice, funny girl who writes erotica and pornography (I do think they’re different, but not necessary better than one another). I tell everyone who asks exactly what I do — not to shove it in their faces, but because I believe I should not be shamed by it, and neither should they. I feel safer knowing that the world knows who I am and what I do. If the police bust down my door or someone tries to take me out, then I hope that all of those who know and love me, will come to my aid. There will be no moments of “Oh my god, she writes erotica?!!?” because they already know.
Everyone deals with this process differently, depending on their circumstances, but for me, this is what I know:
I won’t be silenced and I won’t be shamed. Not in my words, not in my life, not in my loves.
Best, s.
PS — Thanks so much for the food for thought, M!
This is a great post, M. And really thoughtful, and I\’m sure helpful for lots of people out there who write erotica.
I think I\’ve taken a very different approach to the whole thing — my choice was to be out there, in every way, to be very visible. Does this make me a target? Perhaps. But it also makes me one of many voices who are brave enough to show their faces against prejudice, lack of knowledge, hatred and discrimination. I\’m that nice, funny girl who writes erotica and pornography (I do think they’re different, but not necessary better than one another). I tell everyone who asks exactly what I do — not to shove it in their faces, but because I believe I should not be shamed by it, and neither should they. I feel safer knowing that the world knows who I am and what I do. If the police bust down my door or someone tries to take me out, then I hope that all of those who know and love me, will come to my aid. There will be no moments of \"Oh my god, she writes erotica?!!?\" because they already know.
Everyone deals with this process differently, depending on their circumstances, but for me, this is what I know:
I won\’t be silenced and I won\’t be shamed. Not in my words, not in my life, not in my loves.
Best, s.
PS — Thanks so much for the food for thought, M!
that is a really intense and thoughtprovoking essay! i gladly found it over craigs blog and i oftne wonder my self about that subject…about what to say or do…i started to write pornographic erotica (ha…truly thats it:-) in a very early age…and started right away to publish it…i never had time to think about hiding my person or dividing my name from my work…so..i m pretty vissible too to quote shanna….and meassured on the whole lot of evil emails i get it makes me a target..but meassured on the whole lot of wonderful and positive emails i get too it makes me one of many many people who do love their erotic reads and who are actually the ones we write for…
Thanks, folks! So glad you liked the post — that means the world to me! One tiny thing I want to make clear is that I see a real difference between being safe and being proud: I am always happy with whatever I write — which is why I always use my “M.Christian” name no matter what I do (smut, sf, horror, non-fiction or whatever) — and don’t use different names for different genres. I’m a writer and to me that means writing whatever I can and whatever I want no mater what, and being proud of that. But I’m also realistic that there are people out there who, if given half a chance, would like to see me fail, at least, or burn in hell, at most — and if not me then the people around me. So my post was not about hiding in shame because we write smut but to understand the risks we face and take reasonable precautions. Be proud of what you do, sure, but be careful so you can write in safety and comfort.