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Please read this if you just had something rejected:

It’s part of being a writer. Everyone gets rejected. Repeat after me: EVERYONE GETS REJECTED. This does not mean you are a bad writer or a bad person. Stories get rejected for all kinds of reasons, from “just not the right style” to a just plain grouchy (or really dumb) editor. Take a few deep breaths, do a little research, and send the story right out again or put it in a drawer, forget about it, remember it again, take it out, read it, and realize it really is DAMNED good. Then send it out again.

Never forget that writing is subjective. My idea of a good story is not yours, yours is not his, and his is not mine. Just because an editor doesn’t like your story doesn’t mean that everyone will, or must, dislike it as well. Popularity and money don’t equal quality, and struggle and disappointment don’t mean bad work. Keep trying. Keep trying. Keep trying.

Think about the rewards, about what you’re doing when you write. I love films, but I hate it when people think they are the ultimate artistic expression. Look at a movie – any movie – and you see one name above all the others: the director, usually. But did he write the script, set the stage, design the costumes, act, compose the music, or anything really except point the camera and tell everyone where to stand? A writer is all of that. A director stands on the shoulders of hundreds of people, but a writer is alone. Steinbeck, Hemmingway, Austin, Shakespeare, Homer, Joyce, Faulkner, Woolf, Mishima, Chekhov – all of them, every writer, created works of wonder and beauty all by themselves. That is marvelous. Special. That one person can create a work that can last for decades, centuries, or even millennia. We pick up a book, and through the power of the author’s words, we go somewhere we have never been, become someone new, and experience things we never imagined. More than anything else in this world, that is true, real magic.

When you write a story, you have created something that no one – NO ONE – in the entire history of history has done. Your story is yours and yours alone; it is unique and you, for doing it, are just as unique.

Take a walk. Look at the people you pass on the street. Think about writing, and sending out your work: what you are doing is rare, special, and DAMNED brave. You are doing something that very few people on this entire planet are capable of, either artistically or emotionally. You may not have succeeded this time, but if you keep trying, keep writing, keep sending out stories, keep growing as a person as well as a writer, then you will succeed. The only way to fail as a writer is to stop writing.

But above all else, keep writing. That’s what you are, after all: a writer.

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Please read if you just had something accepted:

Big deal. It’s a start. It’s just a start. It’s one sale, just one. This doesn’t make you a better person, or a better writer than anyone else out there trying to get his or her work into print. You lucked out. The editor happened to like your style and what you wrote about. Hell, maybe it was just that you happened to have set your story in their old hometown.

Don’t open the champagne; don’t think about royalty checks and huge mansions. Don’t brag to your friends, and don’t start writing your Pulitzer acceptance speech. Smile, yes; grin, absolutely, but remember this is just one step down a very long road.

Yes, someone has bought your work. You’re a professional. But no one will write you, telling you they saw your work and loved it; no one will chase you down the street for your autograph; no one will call you up begging for a book or movie contract.

After the book comes out, the magazine is on the stands, or the Web site is up, you will be right back where you started: writing and sending out stories, just another voice trying to be heard.

If you write only to sell, to carve out your name, you are not in control of your writing life. Your ego and your pride are now in the hands of someone else. Editors and publishers can now destroy you, just as easily as they can falsely inflate you.

It’s nice to sell, to see your name in print, but don’t write just for that reason. Write for the one person in the whole world who matters: yourself. If you like what you do, and enjoy the process: the way the words flow, the story forms, the characters develop, and the subtleties emerge, then no one can rule what you create, or have you jump through emotional hoops. If a story sells, that’s nice, but when you write something that you know is great – something that you read and tells you that you’re becoming a better and better writer – that’s the best reward there is.

But above all else, keep writing. That’s what you are, after all: a writer.

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  12 Responses to “Emotional Survival Kit”

  1. An awesome post. I don;t take it personal when I get rejected and I dont get overly excited when I am accepted. I do announce to friends, yahoo loops etc but I keep and even keel and work on the next one as well as selling all the ones I have to readers.

    No plans for the mansions yet…. ;)

  2. Have my share of rejections….expecting more…and maybe some accepteds…managed to get my \"one\" Damn now I have to do it all over again? Back to writing….Excellent post BTW. : )

  3. Wonderful post, Chris! I’m really happy that you addressed both sides of the coin.

    I remember how giddy I was when my first novel was accepted, And how completely unrealistic in my expectations!

    Hugs,
    Lisabet

  4. Wonderful words for all writers, especially the part about writing for yourself. At the end of the day, if you don’t like your writing, why should anyone else?

    Thanks for sharing your wisdom :-)

    Maggie

  5. Thank you for this post, Chris. To be brave and to be humble…to remember the goal is to always strive to become a better writer…and above all to love what you do and be true to yourself. This needs to be engraved somewhere and handed to anyone that ever puts pen to paper or fingers to keyboard to write the stories in their heart. Truly, thank you. It can be so easy to lose your way or be lead astray when you publish a book. I think I’ll be coming back to this post often. May it remain for a long, long time to come :)

  6. Becoming a better and better writer – something we all (or should) aspire to – that resonates with me as I sit re-editing a story I wrote nine years ago – and OMG but I was a crappy writer then. Filled with he saids she saids, myriad adverbs and stilted dialogue. You could choke a horse with the typos! Hopefully, through the years I have improved, and having good editors surely has helped. I love writing – and you’re right – it has to be for yourself. If it reads lousy to you – then it’s lousy!

  7. Great article. Rejections are very hard to take, especially after you’ve previously published a story. But you are completely right that it is all about continuing writing, and loving it.

    We as authors are never so free as when we write. Thanks for the reminder.

    Mary, http://www.authormaryc.com

  8. Fantasitc Post. Absolutley loved it. Thank you so much.

  9. Chris,

    Insightful and painfully true in spots, but beautifully explained for those who have this dream of being published. It’s an amazing journey, to be sure. But, it can be heartbreaking if you go into it thinking one book will change your world.

    I figure, if you don’t write for yourself, you’ll never be able to tell if the writing is good, or exciting, or pleasurable for those who read it. Besides, if I don’t like what I write, how can I expect someone else to?

    Like Lisabet, I remember vividly when my first story, my first book were accepted. Talk about off the wall excited! I’m surprised my poor husband didn’t gag me and toss me in a closet. I wasn’t expecting fame or fortune, but knowing what I’d written was done well enough for a publisher to actually want it was such a high. Sigh!

    Yes, gotta keep writing. What would we all do if we couldn’t write?

    Hugs
    Jude

  10. The first story I got accepted paid me $50, but I was walking on a cloud for weeks after.
    I know some people say just writing for themselves is enough. It’s not for me.
    I want/need to make money with it and get my stories, poems and book(s) sold.
    When I got a call from Paris saying a story had won $1,000, I was ecstatic.
    When I was called a few years back to be told one poem had won a $5,000 award,
    I was over the moon. and yet, just a few days ago, I got a disappointing review on my
    first book, well, not totally disappointing, they gave my book a 4.5 on a scale of 5 for
    content but only a 2 on a scale of 5 for book design. I was floored. Just goes to show you
    that it is soooooo subjective. The Judge said the author, that would be me, seemed
    egocentric. Aren’t all writers more or less egocentric? We spend 24/7 inside our heads
    coming up with stories that both sustain us and will hopefully entertain others.
    Oh, Lordy, it’s such a crapshoot isn’t it???

  11. At the end of a successful professional career fourteen years ago, I followed my heart and became a writer in a typical engineering fashion…with a plan!
    Some would say it worked. I now have fifteen published stories and have had the services of almost that many editors; I’ve felt the euphoria of holding my first published work in my hands, seen my stories published in large circulation magazines, signed a film rights contract for one story, handled rejections and acceptances with equal aplomb (I still toast the former with a nip of twenty-five year old scotch from a special bottle), but I still fall prey to doubts when I look at the dwindling years of my life and measure the cost of continuing to write.
    It is a selfish profession, demanding great chunks of your time, rewarding niggardly in everything but self satisfaction (not unlike any other addiction), but your words strike a chord and I thank you for them.

  12. Thanks, everyone, for your fantastic comments — so glad you liked the post! It’s kind of a personal mission of mine: to not only try to give writers the respect they deserve for all their difficult work … but also to try and get writers to be more realistic about what being a writer is really all about.

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