You would think that self-torture and supreme penance would be something out of the dark ages. But I see it all the time, the guilt and suffering, the excuses and condemnation.
Writers do it all the time, they hit this wall where they swear they will never create another piece again. Then as an offering of proof they halfheartedly try or they try with every once of determination to write something worth reading. The results are usually awful.
That usually sets off curses to the heavens, self inflicted tortures and resignation that usually ends with tears for a lost muse.
Poor Muse she is often lost!
I encountered this from a writer I work with. I gave him an assignment and he didn’t make deadline. We pushed it back and again he didn’t have anything to show me. Finally I received a lengthy email on how awful his circumstances were, how he couldn’t find the words, how his muse was gone and how i should give up on him… but if i didn’t give up on him if I truly believed it was just a phase he vowed that he would work harder and produce what was needed. He only ask that I give him time. Time to find his muse.
At first I felt sorry for his circumstances but as each sentence droned on I realized that no matter how much I sympathized he felt sorrier for himself and with this sorrow came great guilt and with this guilt an even greater need to punish himself…. but lastly there was a need for him to feel justified for not writing because he felt this remorse.
It was rather twisted and well, boring.
So I took the bulls by the horn and wrote back.
“I am not your friend. I am your editor and publisher and you were given an assignment. I don’t care if the house burnt down or if your wife ran away with the mail main. I don’t care if you have to work 2 jobs. Do the assignment and keep the sympathy stories for your mother.
Then I told him as I would tell any creative, that the only way to get through a writers block is to WRITE!
You’ve heard the quote attributed to Oliver Stone “Writing = ass in chair”.
It doesn’t matter if it is good or bad or in between, just write.
So put away the hairshirt. You want to beat something up hit the keyboard hard. Create a war scene or a fight between lovers. Take a stake and drive through your boss’ heart.
Then after you get all that self loathing, frustration, envy out on the screen… you’ll find your muse.
Like the little lost sheep she will be waging her tail behind her.
~Oceania
always perfection dear
Great article…OF COURSE I’m ON DEADLINE! LOL!
You folks missed out on her talk for WriteSEX at Savvy….
thanks Sascha but hardly perfection – more of a rant. Hoping to let writers know it is okay not have an off day but don’t beat yourself up over it because that will re-enforce the down time.
Sigh!
Ya know, ugly as it sounds, I agree with you, and I hate it. Can’t write when you’re busy moaning about not being able to. Can’t write when you’re flipping channels or surfing the web. Can’t write unless you just sit down and fucking do it. Personally, at the moment, I’m blaming new meds, but that’s coming to an end. I can’t let little white pills win. It just isn’t in me.
Besides, Quinn, Jack, Doc and Jazz are all in Limbo waiting for me. What kind of mistress leaves her fellas dangling for weeks on end. Well, dangling ain’t all bad either… depends on what’s dangling and why…snicker!
Great post and one we should all think about more often. Deadlines are meant to be met.
Hugs
thanks Jude for the kind words.
That writer I was working with.. he delivered 1500 words the very next day and 1000 or more very day since that. He isnt talking to me but he is writing. lol
As for dangling – YUM – hands tied above my head, on tiptoes …. deliciously teased… oh my!
Well done! Made me go back to one of my favorite quotes, from the German poet Rilke:
\"…ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple \"I must,\" then build your life in accordance with this necessity.”